The importance of having a picture in mind and positive self talk

I've been lucky enough, since a young age, to have a picture in mind of what I want my future to look like.

It started when I asked my dad "I'd like a stereo to listen to music on". (That's how I remember the question. Being a teenager, I probably actual said "I want a stereo" in a tone of self-righteousness!) This was in the 1980s. I was 13. Dad asked me which one I wanted, and I showed him a picture of a Saisho double cassette "stacking system" with a radio, graphic equaliser, and turntable. I'd had enough of listening on the transistor radio to the charts each Sunday and pressing play and record at the same time on the cassette recorder to record my favourite songs, trying not to have my step-mum shouting something ruin the recording.

Dad asked me how much it was, and I pointed at the price tag in the Dixons advert. It was £99. And I'll always remember the answer my dad gave - "Of course you can have it. You just need to get a job and save up £99 and then you can buy one. I'll introduce you to Arni the newsagent where I buy a paper each day, and maybe he'll give you a job."

As I say, I was lucky. Arni - a lovely hardworking man that got up at 4:30am each day to drive up from Wembley to open his corner shop in our town each day at 6am - did give me a paper round job. I wasn't a morning person. But armed with question my dad had posed me, the picture in mind of what I wanted, the opportunity from Arni to earn £7 per week for doing a paper round, seeing Arni work 12 hours a day, 2 hours commuting to provide for his family, I worked out that I could to get a stereo within 6 months. The picture and opportunity got me up each morning.

I was almost derailed, because some of Arni's best customers were the newspaper delivery boys and girls. When he paid us at the end of the week, he had a whole shopful of sweets and magazines that we could choose to spend our hard earned money on! I do admit that I would tend to buy a quarter pound of pineapple chunks or other sweets. Fortunately I was to miserly to want to spend money on a pack of 20 cigarette's - they'd have taken too much out of my earnings. However I did like my sweets, so that did slow my saving rate down a bit.

Luckily for me, most Saturdays or Sundays at least one other newspaper boy or girl wouldn't turn up. So when I returned from doing my round, Arni would often say "Would you like to do an additional round because X hasn't turned up?". He'd often offer me £1.5 or £2 for that one round, because the weekend papers were heavier, and more customers wanted them, and he needed them delivering quickly and reliably. I didn't have anything better to do that morning, so I'd say yes, and I saw how hard my dad and Arni each worked, and it just felt the right thing to say "Yes". After doing the second round of the day, I'd leave with a bag of sweets and more than the £7 I was expecting to take home when I went in.

I did get the stereo within 6 months, and then had future pictures - a CD player, music to play on it. Once I got to 6th form, my paper round was replaced with working at McDonalds at weekends, which also offered me the opportunity to work extra shifts - my 2 or 3 x 5 hour shifts at the weekend sometimes got extended to a 5 hour shift and 2 x 12 hour shifts. I learned lots, met several inspirational managers and leaders, which helped me achieve my next pictures such as going out to pubs and clubs with friends, a leather jacket, a better stereo, more music, a car. After leaving university my habit just continued - a picture of what I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30, then when I achieved that by 27, a new picture for 35, then a picture for 40, and so on.

I was reminded of this process recently my an inspirational speaker, Marcus Child. I've seen Marcus present 9 or 10 times over the last 15 years or so to Vistage leadership groups that I'm in. He inspires business leaders and teams to create a picture of the future. I never tire of seeing him present - he also shares a new snippet, or reminds me of something I have forgotten or can still do better. I saw Marcus present recently, and he reminded me of the power of the vision picture, but also of the virtuous circle of positive self talk -> how you feel -> how you perform -> how you talk to yourself.

I am sceptical of the "fake it until you make it" approach to things. I like to work with people and organisations that are focused and specialist in their area of expertise - doing one thing and doing it well. However, I have also appreciated the experience I've had over the years of the power of having a picture in your mind of "what success looks like". I once heard in a Marcus presentation the line "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're probably right." If you have positive self talk that will induce a positive state of mind in you, and that positive state of mind will enable higher performance. Which will naturally lead to positive self talk, and building a virtuous circle. It also appears to be true that if you have negative self talk, it will induce a negative state of mind, which will hinder performance.

The picture provides motivation, the self talk helps you get there. Although a carrot and stick can both work to induce action, a carrot usually works better than the stick. This applies to self motivation, as well as leading and managing teams. Sometimes, you really do need a stick - a problem to induce decisions and action, causing a "I must" or a "we must" response to create pressure move away from pain or risk of pain. However, success is usually greater, and the process of getting there is more enjoyable if action is motivated by a compelling vision that "I want" or "we want" visualised to create a desire in yourself and your team, and a self belief that "I can" or "we can", generating a belief, physically and emotionally, that you can achieve things.

Where shall we go now? This is a photo I took from the top of Mont Lachat in Le Grand Bornand, France. Walking in any direction meant going down, but it also induced the question "Where shall we go next?"

To be expert in something, research has shown that it typically takes 10,000 hours of working towards that expertise. A picture of the future that you desire, combined with the positive self talk to yourself and people around you to build the belief that you can, makes it much more likely that you will achieve your vision.

I find that having a vision, and keeping it in mind even when I'm deep in the weeds or forest, helps me keep the motivation to take each next step. And having my core values, like my "true north" in mind as well as the picture, helps ensure I always try to walk in the right direction with a smile on my face, and a spring in your step, even when things get challenging.